Sliding Doors

Has anyone seen this movie?

This is how I feel now that I am back.  I feel like one of me is still in Russia and one of me is home.  I get up in the morning, take off my eye mask (a habit we picked up in Russia) get up and go through the motions of my life here.  I feel though as if I could put that sleep mask back on, wake up over again and be in our hotel room ready to start our day there.

I feel like I could easily open a door and I would be in Russia.  The trip still lingers.  I open my change purse and have twoonies mixed with rubles.  I leave out Baby Birds toy bag so I won't forget to take it.  I check the time and my first thought is when are we meeting our translator.  I look for Cat and find it so odd that I would need to phone her to talk to her, I've grown accustomed to her always being within earshot.  I see my family watching videos of Baby Bird and I feel like he's within reach and not on the other side of the world.  My car feels foreign to me.  I sip my coffee from my Moscow Starbucks travel mug.  I said thank you in Russian (badly as usual) when someone gave me change yesterday.

I am so happy to have my family and loved one's in arms reach and not in cyber space, I appreciate and feel the love and joy.
At the same time I feel like this is a nice visit but I am ready to board a plane and go back for him now.

I am forever changed, and what I have added to my existence just needs some time to hang out with who I was before we boarded that plane.
In that magical blend, I will be truly myself.