Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The nest chapter...

jounalling at the Grande Cafe

I meant to write "next" chapter but it's kinda perfect that I made that typo.  You may have noticed that my blog entries stopped arriving in your inbox shortly before my court date in Russia.  I unsubscribed my subscribers and went private intending to revive it when we were safely on Canadian soil. 

Well we've been back eight weeks now and I've done a bit of blogging and a lot of living as a new mom.  I just figured out how to revive my subscriber list and it turns out to be perfect timing.  In my quest to adjust to life in my new neighbourhood I encountered a new mom friend at my local coffee shop who is also a fellow blogger.  She writes for a website called Urban Moms so I signed up and started following her super funny postings.  I causually commented that maybe it would be cool to have an adoptive mom blogger on the site and she not only agreed but passed my name to the owner of the site who invited me to join their blog team.

How cool is that?  I hope you will follow me to my new blog From Russia with Love over at my cool new digs at Urban Moms  Come on over and join the fun as our adoption love story continues now that Baby Bird is nested. 

There will be no more leisure latte writing from the cafes of Russia but quick quips during nap time and ramblings from a sleep deprived single mama.  I've waited years to say that so it sounds fantastic to me!

Friday, November 4, 2011

From blog title to reality....

Our Baby Bird in a nest of leaves
 My blog title created from my imagination to the reality of this moment when baby bird literally appeared.

I have read and reflected, journalled and discussed for years the concept of bringing dreams into reality.  I have made vision boards, read the books, drummed and danced it out.  I sought the guidance of Mediums and Astrologers and the support of my family and friends.  I took courses, hired professionals to guide me and travelled twice to a foreign country. I have drank a lot of wine and cried on a lot of shoulders in the process.

I also met a lot of new friends along the way and am closer than ever to my old ones.  I recieved the kindness and generiousity of strangers, learned to love my own company and had the opportunity to take the trip of a lifetime with my sister.    I experienced how one door may have to close, sometimes against my will, before the right one opens.  This process renewed my belief that the power of Love can heal everything when you open up to it.

I remember reading that the formula to manifesting your heart's desires was this:
You must clearly ask for it, put it out there in the Universe in a meaningful, genuine way then let it go and trust that it will come to reality.

For me it meant fully committing to my plans to adopt which meant surrendering to the experience, no matter what.  The "what" for me meant the end of a relationship, changing countries and adoption agencies, renting out my house, moving in with my parents to save money and then moving in with my sister to share a household.  I changed cities twice, and went into serious debt while saving up two years worth of vacation in order to travel to the orphanage.  That was challenging but it was the next step that was harder.

Let it go and trust.
Oh man that's the toughie.  The only way for your heart's desires to show up is if you truly believe at your core that it will.  That means battling fear, anxiety, self doubt and my inner critic on a daily basis.  It meant holding onto the belief that love conquers all. 

Dream fulfilled
The moment I met my son, it was done.  Not the journey of course but the completion of the quest to find him. He was so easy to recognize and as promised by the Universe, better than I had dared to dream.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Terrorizing Tsar and Runaway Terrier

I am busting with excitement to share Baby Bird's Chicky Halloween.   The festivities was beautifully captured through my friends lens so I need to get the pics from her tomorrow and then I will be posting my dream come true.

Today was not so picture perfect.The lack of an afternoon nap has the ability to turn my sweet prince into a terrorizing Tsar.  He was nutty with sleep deprivation and demonstrated this by alternating hysterical laughter and high pitched screaming with finger sucking and flopping dramatically onto the soft surfaces I provided in the attempts to tempt him to sleep.  He played peek a boo through the crib rails then hurled his crib mates (stuffed dog and glow worm) out of his crib.  I played Jewel Lullaby's and attempted baby massage.  He responded with giggles and grunts.  I read a book, he laughed at me then threw the book at Jack, who was setting a very good example by sleeping at the foot of the crib.  I gave him a little warm milk and a diaper change, he squirmed on the change table like the diaper was on fire.

After forty five minutes and dinner time was reached I gave up and went back downstairs.
Low on dinner options I resorted to frozen pizza. I was planning to cook and catch up on the rest of my Heather Homemaker tasks during the nap that never happened.  If it makes it any better it was thin crust and veggie.  Putting the pizza in the oven proved harder then one would expect due to my child being attached to my legs screaming to be picked up every moment.  Again, this is not usual, I blame the lack of nap for releasing his inner Wendy whiner.

Our delightful nine year old neighbour knocked on the door and within a few minutes was dressed in Roman's Baby Chick Halloween costume and lounging on my couch watching  Will and Grace.  It was a pivotal episode where Grace marries Leo (who is hottie Harry Connick Jr)  but is conflicted about what it will mean to the love of her life, gay bff Will.  I am going by memory because I missed it due to being busy with my usually lovely little eater throwing his food onto the floor, smearing it on his tray and sucking his fingers.

When my little neighbour offered to take Jack to the park because she sensed that he needed to pee I was thrilled.  However, when she returned twenty minutes later in a panic without my dog I was not.  I threw on my flower power rain boots (it was the first thing in view) scooped Roman onto my hip, threw a treat in my pocket and ran to the park.  I see a white blur of fur running across the road narrowly missing a passing car and attracting the attention on the neighbourhood.  He comes running to me when he sees me looking very guilty and a little scared.  I didn't bring the leash so I had to scoop him up with my other arm.  Toddler on one hip, terrier on the other, we return to the nest.

Roman finished the evening by trashing our home like a diva in a hotel room.  Every toy knocked over, every toy basket emptied onto the floor. Not even the tray with magazine's on the ottoman was spared, which unfortunately also had a large glass of water on it. I was counting down the moments until I could legitimately put him in the bath which I decided was 7pm.  I came up with that time as a compromise between the instant gratification of stopping the insanity by putting him to bed early and the pain of a very early morning wake up tomorrow.

After some splish splashing, singing in the tub, stories, Jewel lullaby's, head massage, back rub and a couple of pleading "shhhhh, time for sleep, shhhhh, pretty please my love, give it up and go to the sleep" I got the sweet sound of sucking fingers and deep baby breaths.

Now here I sit a few hours later after dealing with the aftermath aided by a new concoction of pom juice and rum, Jack the runaway peacefully asleep at my feet and Oprah's life lessons awaiting me on pvr.


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Bird Bath

Roman's Baby Shower
My parents place was filled with friends and family all gathered to celebrate our baby Roman.  There were birdie cupcakes and kisses, gifts and well wishes.  

Thursday, October 27, 2011

From Baby Bird to Chubby Chicken

I came across pics from the day I brought Roman home and was shocked at the wee little bird looking at the lens.  I really didn't think that he was that small though the doctor told me he was in the bottom fifth percentile for weight.  This is normal for children coming from an orphanage and I knew he would grow but am blown away by how quickly it has happened.  It's amazing what large servings of love, whole milk, fish oil and a lot of snuggles can do.
Six weeks later this is my Baby Bird transformed into a Chubby Chicken.

First day home

Six weeks home- check out the belly :)

and the chubby thighs

and the length of those kissable legs

oh and I had to include this... 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My unconventional family bed

We have a night time routine.  Roman goes to bed around 8-8:30pm usually after a bath and always after a few rounds of going up and down the flight of stairs.  He seems to need a little stair climbing before slumber, who am I to question it.  I put on his lulaby music, rock him a bit, sing a bit, then lay him in his crib.  Then Jack and I hang out in his room until he falls asleep.  Jack often nestled under his crib and me on the chair.  Once he is in dream land we leave.  When I am ready for bed, we return to Roman's room, scoop him up from the crib and transfer him into my bed.  Jack really just accompanies me for this portion though I;m sure he would help more if his puppy paws would allow.  I have a side rail now on my bed so Roman can flail and roll and not fall out.  Jack and Roman though small in size manage to take up most of the bed and I contort my limbs around them.  I get to start my day with my little man's  face as the first thing I see in the morning and Roman wakes up beaming.

This arrangement works for us.  So much better then the zombie walk I did several times a night down the hall to Roman's  room every time he woke up.  Instead of waking up to his cries, I wake up to his beaming little face and it's such a great way to start the day.  It wouldn't work if there was a man in the bed but I am not currently burdened by that

Before Roman came home I had to take sleeping pills to get any sleep and I when I did sleep my dreams were often stressful and sad.  Now, my bed is occupied by a terrier and a toddler and I sleep like a baby.