Russian Roulette

Updating paperwork Task #1
New medical and update blood work

Went to the Doctor's office today, this is a transcript of the conversation I had with Nurse Ruth.

What can I help you with today?
I am adopting internationally
and I need a blood work requisition for HIV, Syphilis, and Hep ABC
Ok... click... click.. click (this is her typing and not looking up from keyboard
Do you have sex with women?"
No, no I do not... I realise that I have cut my
hair short but no I am not a lesbian
Do you have sex with men?
No, no I do not
Never?
Oh, I meant not currently, never is a bit extreme, of course I have.... hope to again...

then the rest of the questions did not involve my sexual history and an easy succession
of no, nyet, never and nada's

After this interrogation, she hands me a sheet of paper to take to the lab. I ask her how long will it take for the results.

HIV results are 4-6 weeks
What ?!? I was hoping to be in Russia in 4-6 weeks. Can you rush it?
No, it's Public Health
Even if there's the adoption of an orphan involved?
Doesn't matter. You can start calling and checking after a few weeks and see if you get lucky.
The office won't call me when the results are in? I just have to call randomly and see if I luck out like a game of Russian
Roulette?
Good luck to you

Next stop... the lab