Reflections on taking P.R.I.D.E and Loving Life

Eighteen months ago I took my first official steps in the adoption journey, the required P.R.I.D.E adoption course. The two weekends of classes were filled with adoption information, resources, tools and experts. I have the binder and took the quizzes. I remember the first day coming into the room excited and a bit nervous about the sessions. When I looked around it would seem that the journey of adoption was primarily a partnered one. It looked like it was all couples, everyone was sitting in pairs, my heart sank a little.

"Are you single?"
I was asked over and over individually then publically during introductions.
It's a fair question just one that I really prefer to avoid in my then complicated relationship status.

I did not feel single... I had a significant other, it's just that he had no intention of parenting with me. I realized that my relationship was unconventional but it was still very significant.

Are you single?
I am in a relationship with a man that I share my life with, that I love with my whole heart, who makes me an excellent omelet, our lives and laundry are interconnected

But the fact remains that here I was in North York planning a chunk of life that he is opting out of. Eight months later he left the rest of my life. I still miss him and his omlette making skills. I ache from his absence and still use a little bit left of our shared laundry soap.

Eighteen months ago I wasn't ready. Nine months ago he left, today I can say I am ready to become a mom and share with her my.............

crazy, unbelievable, challenging, side-splitting, spontaneous, improvable, unpredictable, exasperating, big-hearted, absurd, delicious, abundant, inspiring, joyous, daring, jaw-dropping, beautiful life.