Lost in Translation

For some reason when I was in Canada trying to learn “Thank you” in Russian I learned it as “Sassy-baa” this is not the correct pronunciation.  It’s not even all that close.  It is pronounced “Spa-si-ba” and you say it like you are sneezing. Now that I am in Russia I can’t seem to break this habit.  Try as I may every time I proudly thank the people I say it completely wrong and they laugh at me.  Cat also giggles and corrects me each and every time.  We are polite Canadians so this happens many times each day. 

Water in Russia comes in several forms.  It is very hot here at the moment so we need to obtain bottled water many times a day.  While we usually manage to order water, we can’t seem to sort out all the varieties.  Water can be “still” or “with gas” and you can get both medium and highly gassed.  Water also comes in the salted and not salted variety.  Unfortunately, on very bumpy subway ride I had a coughing fit and little did I know that the water I would open to quench this attack was of highly gassy salted kind.   So I am coughing like crazy, standing on the subway, with an ice cream bar in one hand and a bottle of gassy water in the other.  Coughing commences, I desperately open the bottle and it exploded onto me and an old man who was already not to happy with the crazy coughing lady.  Cat is trying to act out an apology and I feel like I am clinging to dear life.  The lady on the cell phone and mini skirt smiles at this commotion and is not at all bothered by the fact that I have exploded water onto her shiny mini skirt and continues to banter on the phone.

We went out for dinner with an American couple and our waitress did not speak any English.  This is not unusual and we usually get away with charades and pointing at the pictures on the menu.  We only dine in restaurants that have pictures on the menu.  Claudia wanted sweetener for her tea so I proudly whip out my Russian phrasebook to find the Russian word.  The waitress was already losing patience with us at this point so I am feeling ever so helpful at finding my handy little book to help the situation.  I look up from my book ready to impress and order a sweater.  In my handy phrase book the word for sweater is directly above the word for sweetener.  The stoic waitress couldn’t help but crack a smile.

Last but not least, I regularly call this fine city “Volvo-grad” as in the car.  The name of the city is “Volgograd”.  I am blaming it on baby brain.